| | 10305 | | I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I love him so much, but I can't seem to convince myself to stop. I really like the other guy, but I'm not in love with him. But I really do love my boyfriend. He means everything to me. But being half way across the world from him and barely talking to him once a week is difficult. I can't have him when I want him, and sometimes I feel like he doesn't miss me. I know that he does, but I'm putting so much effort into keeping our relationship alive while I'm away. But I don't feel the effort being returned. Maybe that's why I can't stop. Maybe that's why I'm looking for comfort in someone else. What am I going to do when I get back home? Do I tell him? Or do I keep it a secret and continue with our relationship? What is going to happen between me and this other guy? What if he really falls for me? I don't want to have to break his heart. He knows I have a boyfriend. We don't really discuss it. It's a silent acknowledgement. I'm so torn and so confused. I hate myself...why must I do this to him and myself. Why can't I just be a stronger person and do what I need to do to end this? I don't know how long I can keep doing this. It needs to end soon, but how am I going to do it? I will always hate myself for this...and now there's no way to change it. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to say. I can't talk to anyone, no one will understand. I feel so alone in the world. | | | | |
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