| | 10345 | | This morning instead of going to school I beat my legs black and blue with a screwdriver. It felt like such a relief.
That can't be normal. | | | | | 10344 | | There is this girl who I know likes me. Its so obvious its hard to watch. Especially since I have no interest in her. She's not ugly but not attractive either. Bland personality, no idea how to talk and interact with people. And she tries too hard to be friendly. It's nothing personal, she's a loser. That sounds contradictory but I think it makes sense. Some people are just losers. Anyway, when I run into her she tries to start up a conversation and I usually barely aknowledge that she exists. Sometimes I just outright ignore her, pretend to be making a call or something. And she just tries harder. Its so pathetic. I know its bad to do that instead of just flat out telling her that I have no interest in being around her in any way but I just can't rationalize putting forth the effort. I just really don't care about her at all.
It's even more pathetic because that she hangs around a girl that I am interested in, one who is not only beautiful and athletic but witty and charming as well. Its even harsher because I met her through the lame girl. The few times we've all been together, the two of us almost completely ignore her, throwing a few token comments her direction in some half-hearted attempt to make her feel included. It's mean but I just can't seem to care. Like right now I'm thinking about if she read this and knew it was me or related this post to her feelings or whatever. I picture her crying. And I still don't give a rats ass. | | | | | 10343 | | I have had sex with over 400 women and I now feel very discusted by my actions. | | | | | 10342 | | A talented artist given all the proper tools is perhaps the greatest invention of man. To have the gift to convey so much emotion and power is truly a blessing. And I myself, though not gifted in such ways, am blessed by it. The right piece, be it music, film, written etc, always finds its way into my life at precisely the right moment. At times, I can be moved by even the tinest gesture simply due to the timing at which it comes. It really almost seems as if the creations of others are being dropped along my path to guide me. And for that, I am truly grateful. | | | | | 10341 | | For the most part I want to help people, protect them. To be the hero. But whenever someone tells me about something that they love and is very dear to them (children, friends, memories etc) I automatically begin thinking of the most cruel and punishing method to take it away. I come up with unique, ironic fates that would make them feel the most inhuman pain and anguish imaginable. It's almost like I view other people as a challenge, what will it take to break this person into pieces? It makes for some surreal conversations. People say I'm such a nice guy as I listen to some inane crap about their grand kids. And the whole time I'm sitting there I'm thinking "I could tear you down into nothing." | | | | | 10340 | | Remember in DARE class, when they told you that marijuana is a gateway drug? It starts out innocent enough, but before you know it you're addicted to more and more hardcore drugs.
Turns out porn addictions work the same way. I used to get off on your standard Jenna Jameson girl-girl stuff. Over time i've needed more and more hardcore porn. I'm into some really twisted stuff these days. | | | | | 10339 | | Sometimes, I honestly and truly find it sad to see animals die or get hurt or whatnot, like they look real cute and are so innocent. However I have no sympathy or compassion for human life outside of my close contacts. | | | | | 10338 | | I want to be good. Now I wonder if it was a choice at all. | | | | | 10337 | | I thought I had at least the next few years of my life planned out. How everything was going to work and it was all going to be perfect. I've been living by the plan for a few months and already it has made me more lonely than I have ever been. I have only brief, impersonal contact with other humans. The things that were supposed to fill that gap have been exhausted quickly and almost bring more pain than relief. I have this image of who I want to be and with every step I take towards that goal I only end up more lonely and dwelling more on that goal. It's everything I wish I was and everything I think about but all it seems to do is bring more pain into my life. Is this a sign that I should look for something else or is it just the trials of hardship required for such lofty goals? | | | | | 10336 | | my former boss just admitted to being in love with me for the past few years. | | |
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| | \di·vulge\, v. i. 1. To make known (something private or secret) 2. Archaic. To proclaim publicly
the idea is for anyone to anonymously confess to anything. it actually feels kind of good to know that someone will read it.
this is completely confidential. no information about you or your computer is stored. in fact, we only collect the text you type, the date, and a random number.
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