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  10994   Doctors, by and large, are some of the most smug, sanctimonious bastards on the face of the planet, yet I am throwing my entire life into upheaval to become one. It's honestly not for the money, because with the way reimbursement is changing, it's not as lucrative a career move as it might have been ten years ago (which my parents love to remind me is when I should've made this decision, anyway). Patient care is a huge motivator, but I've gotta be honest when I say that my primary motivation in choosing this for myself is that I want the respect. I want people to excuse my obnoxious behavior because I'm an MD. I want to be offered invitations to all the parties I profess to hate, rudely turn them down because I can't be arsed to go, and still be loved and feared by my contemporaries. I want the white lab coat to communicate to people that I am austere and unapproachable, yet still know that they long to strike up a conversation with me, to consider me a friend. I want only the best quality men -- other doctors, scientists, professors, men with whom I can actually have a conversation -- to throw themselves at me and forgive the dull, glazed look in my eyes each time they bed me for astonishingly sub-par sex. I want to have a husband who looks good at dinner parties and who will forgive my notorious infidelity (after all, the stresses of the job made me do it). I want to mock the drug addicts, the obese, those who are non-compliant with treatments for their largely self-imposed illnesses, and ask the world to overlook the gross hypocrisy in this, as I drink, smoke, and have unprotected sex with an ever-growing number of high-risk partners.

This is my deepest desire, and I think it is the secret desire of aspiring and established physicians everywhere, but if I were to say this in a med school interview, I'd be toast.

Why not just call a spade a spade?
 
 
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