| | 10322 | | Hmmmm. I'm afraid that I'm drifting. I feel that my life is hopeless. I've withdrawn from many things. Things that I thought were hurting me. I still experience other things that I feel hurt me and steal from me that I seem trapped by. I am afraid of not knowing how I will live. I push that away to rest as best as I can in a bad situation. For some reason the keyboard keeps putting up the wrong letters here. I am at one with my TV and computer and food delivery service. They are as close as I feel I can get to love and nurturing. I have withdrawn. That's how it is. I had some unpleasant experiences calling help lines about some issues today. Two of them sloughed me off. That was icky.
It took me a long time to find this site, and another one that is similar. I feel that I am making a cocoon around me of things I need but I feel afraid that it is too little too late. I look at my clothes which are wonderful and that makes me want to live, to wear my fantastic wardrobe, but at the same time I experience not having a safe pleasant place to live, MAJOR thing. I feel that the starts and resources I have compiled might make a platform for another woman to get started. I feel that it takes that much, all a particular woman could assemble at great effort is but a start, a platform. It took everything I had and still wasn't enough, so give it to another woman to take off from, but she'd had to be a my dress size and like my clothing colors. It's so sad. I try to provide for myself. There are tupperware bins of art supplies, hats, accessories, household tools. Many are picked up at garage sales and thrift shops. There are files of my writings in a drawer. Some have great potential. Under a desk is a great manuscript. There is a lot of great kitchen stuff. The kind poor people save up for and covet. Like to have a start. To have a decent environment, to clear a path through all the false resources and find the true ones. Like as if my start could be given to another or her start could be given to me, because one poor woman isn't enough to get through this world it seems. | | | | |
| | To help keep this site from becoming a piece of poop, please help weed out the bad/fake posts. If you think this post is not valid according to our rules, please flag it below.
Flag This Message
|
